As nowadays it is not really possible to travel, I thought this could be the best moment to publish a new article related with this topic.
A lot of people who travel solo fall in love during their trips. Some fall in love with a local, others with a fellow traveler. Some love stories last for years, others, a few months, some weeks or just a couple of days.
Since I went back to my homeland from Asia, I had the opportunity to discuss with some friends how to deal with love when you are traveling for months or years.
Traveling allows you to be your true self
I honestly think to fall in love while traveling is very different from when it happens in your comfort zone, especially back home. When you are on the road, you get used to meeting a lot of new people and life becomes more intense than usual. Most of what happens around you nearly all of the time a new experience.
In my opinion, traveling is a great way to discover who one really is and wants, learn the things one needs to work on and be true to what you have come upon. I feel in our hometowns we get stuck in a “role”, and it can be very difficult to leave it. Especially if we are from small villages, like me.
When a few years ago I started a new life in Istanbul, I embraced the opportunity to discover who I really am and I felt I could get rid of that “character” which I was not always comfortable playing.
If you are true to yourself, you will be able to attract people who will bring more and more happiness to your life.
Trusting strangers while traveling
A lot of people (in special solo female travelers) are afraid to trust strangers when they are on the road. Although we have been educated under the perception we shouldn’t trust someone who we don’t know, I think this is wrong. Needless to say, it is necessary to pay attention to what happens around us and how people who appear in our lives behave, but honestly, trusting a stranger is such a beautiful experience. Most of the time, when we follow our instinct, we end up finding real friendship, love or even people who became part of our “chosen family”.
I am a person who trusts people quickly. I know sometimes I rely on the “wrong” people but I never regret what happened to me as all I got was a lesson. Every new lesson I learned made me stronger and got me prepared for the next one.
If we don’t trust other humans, how can we learn what is good or bad for ourselves? Trusting people can lead to living such amazing adventures and gather a lot of new things. It is like leaving an open door to new feelings, experiences and knowledge but, if we close it because we are frightened of everyone, how are we going to experience all these?
Falling in love or merely having a lover while traveling is also a matter of trust. If we trust nobody, it is unlikely we will meet someone who will share some time with us.
Falling in love while traveling can be very intense
People fall in love a lot while traveling. A couple of friends I met traveling told me: “I fall in love every single day of my life!”. I think these words are beautiful. Being able to fall in love means you can trust, give and receive.
It can be incredibly easy to fall in love with a stranger. Off and on you can feel attraction, perceive a connection or a sparkle that you cannot understand where it comes from, but it is just there. Therefore just let it glow and see where this unknown adventure brings you.
When people fall in love while traveling, relationships get intense. From not knowing a person at all, you can spend 24/7 in an environment which you are not familiar with. I believe it is a kind of test and you get to live a deep experience.
Love and cultural differences
While traveling, you get to meet people from all around the world with so many different cultures. Sometimes, there is a nice connection or attraction between two people but the culture can be shocking.
Here, I would like to share my point of view as a woman: men in a lot of cultures just see women as sexual objects, and they don’t feel like there is anything more after that. Some of them don’t even know how to deal with women as a friend from the opposite sex as this doesn’t exist in their own culture.
Some men, in the beginning, can be charming, loving and pretend they are respectful to women, not just in a loving way. But then when people get more comfortable, they may show their real personality which, of course, is linked to the culture of the person.
Of course, sometimes it might take time to realize or understand a bad behavior, as one might be “enchanted”.
And then… what?
As I wrote in the beginning, some travelers’ love-stories last just a few days. Other people find a life-time partner in their travels, and they start a new adventure together. Every single story is different as we all people are.
It is very important to be pragmatic and be able to see when a love story can go further or when it has to end in that place. This is a part of the traveler’s life and besides is a way to learn detachment, which is really hard (for me).
A love story of two travelers
At this point, I would like to narrate a lovely story of people who I love and admire.
Kaan and Ainhoa are two of my best friends in Istanbul. She is from Sevilla and he is from Turkey. They met a few years ago while volunteering in Romania and, after that, they traveled together for some days. They separated without really thinking there was the option of being in a relationship in the future, but they kept in touch.
Ainhoa went to Morocco, and Kaan went back to Turkey. As they got along really well, they met and traveled again. In the end, Ainhoa moved to Istanbul on the 16th of January 2016 (same day as I did). Today they are married and they are such an amazing couple to spend time with! She told me she was somehow nervous but, on the other hand, if she never tried, she would have regretted all her life. She will never forget the feeling she had when she landed in Istanbul to embark on a new adventure.
You never know what the next trip can bring into your life, don’t you?
In the end…
I know some people might be expecting a more personal article about this topic… maybe one day I will be prepared to write about it deeply but, as a starter, I merely wanted to give a small taste of this.
What I can say is that having different lovers while traveling will lead to getting to identify you better and comprehend what you indeed desire in life. You get to have a lot more experience and you can set your boundaries quicker. It is about the time you will understand you are not a half orange, but a whole one. And maybe, out there, there is another orange willing to share time with you.